Working on Yourself for a Better Relationship in the Future

Have you felt that your previous relationships can sometimes be weakened with complications due to your inner or past issues? It can be frustrating trying to work on your relationship when it feels like there is something missing and it is difficult to maintain that healthy relationship. It may help focusing on working on yourself first before entering a relationship, to ensure healthier and better relationships in your future. We will discuss some strategies to help you achieve this and help you on your journey of working on yourself.

Know Yourself Better

Oftentimes, people can struggle with developing a sense of self-awareness and understanding who you are as a person. Not knowing yourself can make it difficult to enter relationships, as you are not sure what your needs or wants are. Focus on learning what your values and beliefs are, by thinking about what is important to you in your life. This can help you find a partner whose values closely align with yours or find similar things important. Also, look back at your previous relationships and identify where your behaviours could have contributed to a failure or success in the relationship. Identifying what behaviours are destructive can help you work on yourself and learn to not repeat said behaviours in the future.

Emotional Well-Being

We can get caught up in our emotions and find it difficult to learn how to manage them. Learning how to manage emotions and healing from past traumas can lead to better successes in your future relationships. Developing coping mechanisms to deal with emotions like anger, sadness, and stress can not only help yourself but help your partner. For example, practicing deep breathing, positive thoughts, balance of work and life, connecting with others, and practicing mindfulness can be great coping mechanisms to turn to when struggling to manage your emotions. If you find yourself to be having a difficult time doing so, do not hesitate to turn to practices like therapy to help guide you on your journey and develop coping mechanisms that work for you and strategies. 

Communication Skills

Working on yourself may seem all self-focused, but working on your communication skills through active listening and expressing your needs also is involved. When you are in a relationship, it is important to learn how to maintain a balance of listening and understanding your partner, while also communicating your own needs and desires. Showing your partner you are listening attentively and providing appropriate feedback, shows you care and builds toward a healthier relationship. It is also important to work on communicating what your own needs and desires are to your partner in a respective manner. Maintaining this balance in a relationship shows you find what your partner says to be as important, and you value your own ideas and need to share them. Expressing both facilitates a relationship of healthy communication and trust. 

Independence

A relationship involves two people working together and spending a lot of time together, but it is important to still establish a sense of independence of who you are separate from your partner. If you have found in your past relationships, you did not know what to do without your partner or you felt like an extension of your partner, it is important to start working on developing a stronger sense of independence. Maintaining this position is beneficial so you do not lose your sense of identity in a relationship. Being in a relationship while also being independent allows room for healthy time apart, being comfortable with yourself, knowing you can trust your partner, and not having to rely on another person. Cultivating this independence allows for yourself to flourish alone so you can be in a relationship that is supportive instead of restrictive. 

Working on yourself can take time and patience, and cannot always be easy. Know that there is no shame in needing to work on yourself first before getting into another relationship, and shows maturity and determination toward achieving a better relationship in the future. At Healing Voices Psychotherapy, we can help you on your path of self improvement to work toward healthier relationships. If you are interested, click “Book Now” to book your first free 15-minute consultation.