Unity In Divergence: Couples Healing Through Internal Family Systems
Sometimes, relationships can be hard to manage. We all experience complicated stages in our lives, and times of stress can put a strain on relationships with your loved ones. When juggling times of challenge in your relationships and personal life stressors, arguments can easily feel like something that you, as a couple, cannot seem to get past. It can seem hard trying to find solutions to problems - there can even be thoughts in the back of your mind that having those hard discussions can lead to even more problems and arguments! Rest assured that when arguments are discussed productively and thoughtfully, these problems can be worked through.
When individuals in a relationship are confronted with each other’s feelings and emotions, it can be a challenge to look past one’s own perspective and truly understand the other person. Therapy uses tools, such as the internal family systems approach, in order to help couples learn how to be supportive. IFS in practice helps as a guide on how to reflect upon yourself and your actions. You also practice understanding and working with your emotions while learning how to not become so immersed with only your own perspective. IFS can help you be more present and less reactive when listening to your partner talk about their own outlook and feelings.
Learn To Work On Yourself
When you’ve been in a relationship for an extended period of time, lots of people begin to find it difficult to separate themselves from their partner. This is totally understandable! Spending so much of your time with someone, while sharing incredibly intimate parts of yourself, can have you and your partner intertwined in many ways. However, it’s also okay to want to form your own identity that sees your partner as a part of your life, and not the main focus of it. To create this sense of independence, it’s important to focus on other aspects of your life. That can include pursuing other interests, such as hobbies that you had previously pushed aside. Give yourself time to indulge in them! Investing in maintaining other relationships, such as family or friends, can also be a great way to balance where you put focus in relationships. Prioritizing these other bonds can help you nurture your inner growth and build agency.
Communication Is Key
To build a relationship that has strong roots, it’s important to build foundations of trust with a partner. When building trust, communication is key. By openly discussing concerns, you open a door to being adaptive to needed change and supporting each other in the process. Communication helps you strengthen and affirm your commitment to one another when you discuss future goals. Effective communication leads to a safe space that is created between you and your partner, in which both parties can feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable and authentic with one another.
When you have insecurities, fears or concerns that you keep bottled up inside, these feelings can make it challenging to have productive communication. Internal Family Systems therapy helps you and your partner come to the understanding that both of your reactions to various problems are influenced by your own personal perspectives. This framework helps you to tap into the empathetic part of yourself and recognize why your partner may feel a particular way.
We want to help you and your significant other find balance.
When trying to overcome challenges in your relationship, it’s completely understandable if you feel like your everyday communication isn’t enough! Recognizing that you may need professional assistance while having these difficult talks is an essential step. When needed, therapists who are skilled in creating empathetic dialogue are an excellent support. We are here to help you support yourself and your relationship. If you are considering learning more about Internal Family Systems therapy, we encourage you to contact us for more information. Let’s take the first step!
