Families of Addicts
When a family member suffers from substance abuse, it affects the entire family unit. No family is the same, so each situation is unique. Today, family structures have evolved from the traditional nuclear model, making counselling for families a tailored and personal process.
Codependency
Codependency is a common interaction pattern in families dealing with addiction. It involves excessive emotional or psychological reliance on another person, often the addict. While the addict becomes dependent on their substance, family members may become dependent on the addict. This can occur between spouses, parents, or even parents and their addicted children.
It’s challenging to distinguish between supporting and enabling. Codependent family members often believe their “rescuing” behaviors are helping, but these actions may prevent the addict from taking responsibility for their choices. Signs of codependency include:
• Covering up problems with drugs or alcohol.
• Taking over responsibilities like bills.
• Obsessively worrying about others.
• Struggling with healthy boundaries.
When families become “closed systems” due to shame and secrecy, outside help is often avoided, perpetuating the cycle of addiction.
Addicted Youth
Substance abuse by youth poses unique challenges. Parents have legal and emotional responsibilities to care for minors, making the situation particularly stressful. Often, youth turn to substances due to trauma, such as bullying, sexting, or abuse. Despite a parent’s perception that their child has had no significant hardships, external pressures like social media or peer issues can contribute to addiction.
Addicted Parents
When a parent is the addict, the effects on their children can be profound. Children may adopt roles to survive, such as:
The Rescuer: Takes on adult responsibilities to manage the household chaos.
The Isolator: Withdraws emotionally, becoming shy and detached.
The Comic: Uses humor to cope with difficult situations, often suppressing their understanding of the addiction.
These roles may carry into adulthood, causing emotional and behavioral challenges, including anxiety, depression, or even addiction.
Adult Children of Addiction
Growing up in an addicted household leaves lasting scars. Adult children of addiction often display traits such as conflict avoidance, denial, compulsive behavior, low self-esteem, and abandonment issues. While they may want to forget their past, unresolved emotions can resurface, leading to challenges in coping with future stressors. They may repeat family patterns, either becoming addicts themselves or forming relationships with addicts.
Tips to Help the Family Cope
Although you can’t force an addict to seek help, you can support them by taking care of yourself and the family. Here are practical steps:
Learn about addiction.
Seek family and individual therapy.
Practice self-care, such as regular sleep and exercise.
Manage your expectations.
Plan quality family time, like shared meals or game nights.
Find local support groups.
Celebrate small milestones.
Addiction impacts the entire family, but healing is possible. If you’re ready to explore counselling for your family or discuss how addiction affects your life, reach out to Healing Voices Psychotherapy. Support is available, and you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
