How Therapy Can Help Couples Navigate Cultural Differences

All forms of love are beautiful. However, a relationship can also present difficulties when two individuals from different cultural backgrounds come together. These difficulties are not invincible; in fact, many couples discover that overcoming these differences deepens their relationship. However, having a sympathetic guide might occasionally make the journey easier. At Healing Voices Psychotherapy, we view couples from diverse cultural backgrounds visiting us as one of the most touching and complex situations we deal with.

You may already be familiar with some aspects we are discussing if you and your partner are from different cultural backgrounds. Despite your intense affection for one another, cultural differences can quietly - and at times more overtly - cause miscommunications, conflict, or even loneliness. Let's examine the reasons behind that and how therapy might serve as a way of fostering deeper understanding and connection.

How Cultural Dynamics Can Impact Relationships

Simply put, culture influences our worldview. It's about beliefs, communication techniques, roles in a relationship, and even how we show love, not simply about food, festivals, or traditional clothing. The following are some typical dynamics we observe in relationships between people from different cultural backgrounds:

1. Varying Communication Styles Direct communication is prized in certain cultures. Since honesty is the best policy, a person may speak without reservation about how they feel or what they require. Other cultures value indirect communication, in which meaning is conveyed through tone, body language, or subtle clues. Misunderstandings can result from these distinctions.

For instance, your partner may believe that their straightforward approach is met with evasion, while you may think that being straightforward is rude or unkind. Neither approach is incorrect; they are just different!

2. Different Expectations Surrounding Roles Roles in a relationship are frequently determined by cultural standards, including who should manage money, who should look after the house, and even how impactful choices are made. Conflicts may arise if one partner was raised in a background that values conventional gender roles while the other is from a background that values equality.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that the people in the relationship are not compatible, oftentimes it just means that to come to an agreed sense of roles and their expectations, partners need to be honest when communicating.

3. Influence of Family In certain cultures, family plays a vital role in a couple’s life. Extended family members may be heavily involved in day-to-day activities, or parents may anticipate having a voice in important choices. This may seem overpowering or even invasive to a spouse who comes from a family where decisions about a couple’s relationship are mainly carried out by the couple, without influence from the family. On the other hand, if their significant other isn't as committed to fostering relationships with their family, a partner used to deep family ties may feel alone or unsupported.

How We Can Help

Couples therapy provides a secure setting for examining these dynamics and filling in any holes. Here's how:

Increasing Knowledge and Awareness Understanding your partner's cultural background and how it affects their behaviour, expectations, and reactions is one of the first steps in therapy. This is about raising awareness, not placing blame or saying that one culture is "better" than another.

For instance, we can help you understand that your partner's actions that you consider "distant" may be a culturally embedded method of respecting and allowing you space. This comprehension can lessen animosity and pave the way for greater empathy.

Encouraging Open Communication In therapy, we help couples develop skills to manage their communication preferences. Through facilitated discussions and activities, we can help you learn how to communicate your needs in a way your partner can comprehend. This could involve strategies like practicing active listening or employing "I" phrases.

We frequently invite couples to relate anecdotes from their childhoods during our sessions, including how they witnessed love exhibited, how disagreements were resolved, and what they found admirable or challenging in their families. These conversations might open your eyes and make you feel more connected to one another.

Setting Boundaries with Family Therapy can assist you in establishing appropriate boundaries if family relationships are causing stress. Finding strategies to preserve your relationship while keeping in touch with your loved ones is more important than severing links or showing disrespect to your relatives.

Professionals at our clinic could, for example, role-play dialogues with you to help you politely and firmly express your needs to your family members.

Finding the Middle Ground Every relationship involves compromise, but finding common ground is particularly crucial when cultural differences are present. Together, you and your partner can use therapy to determine what values you wish to maintain as a partnership and how to incorporate aspects of both cultures into your daily lives.

Embrace your differences.
Although it's simple to see cultural differences as barriers, they can also be opportunities for development and growth. By learning about and accepting your partner's culture, you expose yourself to new viewpoints and life experiences. And your relationship gets even closer when you do this together!

Therapy is about strengthening your bond and building a partnership that flourishes in your wonderful, complicated, multicultural world, not "fixing" your relationship.


At Healing Voices Psychotherapy, we are here to support you during this journey. Keep in mind that every relationship is different and that you may use cultural differences to your advantage if you have the correct resources and assistance. If you’d like to find out how our approach to couples therapy can help alleviate your relationship, please reach out!